Laurie Herzog Forges Ahead After Family Tragedy
Brian Herzog was a doer, a go-getter, a type A personality. He always had a plan, and he always had a plan B. He was hardworking, independent, knew what he wanted and always found a way of getting it. But when he wasn't working, he was having fun, playing pranks, getting involved in the community and helping others.
"Brian was always the 'driver' and I was always the 'passenger,'" his wife, Laurie Herzog said. "Maybe that doesn't say too much for me then, but he commanded a presence, and he was no-nonsense. He delivered what he promised."
Laurie, their three children and the rest of their family and friends, the community and their home furnishings business, Home Xpressions, lost their "driver" Feb. 2 this year, when Brian lost his 3 1⁄2-year battle with pancreatic cancer. He was 49.
Now Laurie, a former homemaker, is forging ahead, balancing being a single mother, a grieving widow, and the sole owner of Home Xpressions. She's heard through the grapevine that people have been wondering if she was going to quit the business and sell. "Never for a minute did I consider it. I could never leave here. It was Brian's dream," Herzog said.
They came from Chicago in 2006, after considering several different businesses in several different towns. "He wanted to live in Wisconsin, and he wanted to have his own business. He absolutely loved the Northwoods and he wanted this more than anything," Laurie said. Since his dream morphed into Laurie's reality, she's confident things are going well. "You know, I've toughened up a lot. I do take into consideration what I think Brian might have done in situations, but I'm also following my basic instincts. We don't do things exactly the same, but what I'm doing is working, too." For example, Brian, she said, never mixed friends with business. She, on the other hand, is surrounded by her friends at work, and trusts their input.
For approximately the last year of Brian's life, he worked mostly from home. He kept a clipboard in his bed and Laurie worked at the store. She learned the ropes and came home to him with questions, looking for advice. During that time, she implemented the store's gift boutique. "At first Brian didn't think it was a good idea, but I was looking for ways to get more traffic in the store, to get more local clientele to come around," Laurie said. "It was really busy during the summer months, but there wasn't much of a draw during the slower, winter months." Brian warmed up to the idea when Laurie told him there were more cars in the parking lot since she opened the gift boutique.
The couple's three children, Lindsey, who just started college at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, Kate, a junior at Lakeland Union High School, and Erik, an eighth-grader at MHLT, are coping with the loss of their father the best they can, Laurie said. "I think it's been a bit harder for them lately than it was at first. Events are happening and coming up, such as hunting for Erik, where I think they are feeling the void of their dad not being there," Laurie said. It was difficult for the children to see their father so ill. She said at home now, she and the kids talk about "him" but they don't talk about "it."
Brian fought to the end, never admitting, at least out loud, that he might not beat the cancer. He managed to have a few plan B's, however - some without Laurie's knowledge. Brian left a list of plans for Lindsey's graduation party, arranged for Erik to have a hunting mentor, lined up two of his closest friends to walk his daughters down the aisle, should they marry someday, and he wrote his own obituary. Some time after his death, two Adirondack chairs were delivered to Laurie's house, one with her name engraved on the back, the other with his. It was perhaps his final gift to her - or perhaps not. "I don't know what else he planned. He did all this stuff without me knowing, so I have no idea of everything that went through his head," Laurie said.
The best gift, she said, was insisting they move to the Northwoods from Chicago, where he worked in car sales. He loved everything outdoors - hunting, fishing, hiking, boating - and wanted his children to learn to appreciate the outdoors, too. "It was the best thing for my kids. Instead of spending their lives at the shopping mall, they have this amazing opportunity to grow up in a tightly-knit community and experience the beauty the area has to offer," Laurie said.
People who knew Brian the best, saw the softer, compassionate man he was. Each year, for example, even long before the Herzog's moved to Hazelhurst, Brian anonymously adopted a family in need at Christmas. "He had a very deep faith. He went to church every single Sunday. He'd either seek out a family on his own, or he'd ask the church who needed help," Laurie said. "He did most of the shopping himself, and delivered the gifts himself, dressed as Santa." He never forgot a birthday, anniversary, Sweetest Day, Secretary's Day, the first day of school - you name it. "Brian was constantly buying greeting cards," Laurie laughed. "But it was because he cared, he genuinely cared. And he cherished his mother."
Besides his love and interest in people, Brian is described as having been "quirky" and "witty." The combination to his briefcase was "007" and he always checked in at restaurants under the name "The Dukes." "He had an uncanny, photographic memory for numbers," Cheryl Sell, Laurie's friend and Home Xpressions information technology administrator, said. "And he was always kidding people and playing the prankster. But he took life seriously - failure was not an option."
Barely one week after moving to the Lakeland area, Brian was on the Firebird Foundation at MHLT School. "That's just how he was. He had his hand in just about every pie he could," she said. "He loved this community and he wanted to be a positive force in it." The community loved him back. "You know, when we first moved here, I felt like an outsider. I don't know how to explain it. It was only when Brian became ill and the community rallied around us, that I realized how much people really, really cared. I've never seen a community do so much for others," Laurie said. Laurie's friend, Mary Fried of Minocqua, organized what she thought would be a week's worth of hot, homemade meals for the Herzogs during Brian's final decline in health. So many people stepped forward that the "week" of nightly meals delivered to Laurie and the children, stretched to weeks after Brian's passing.
Proceeds from this year's Mr. T-Bird Pageant at LUHS were given to pancreatic cancer research. Brian had accepted an invitation to make an appearance at the event; unfortunately, he passed away prior to the pageant. His church rallied around him. His friends rallied around him. His family never left his side. Laurie's mother moved in with them near the end, and Brian's mother was also there. All of his brothers and sisters came, most of whom are in the medical profession. They tended to Brian and kept him company, and they cooked, cleaned and did whatever was needed. "I could have never done it all without our family and friends," Laurie said. She said he was sharp as a tack up until about 7 p.m. the night before he died. He took a hitched breath, fell into a coma-like state and passed away the following day.
Life goes on for the rest of the Herzogs. It's hectic at times. "It was a lot to take on. It still is. But people have been terrific," Laurie said. "Even my competitors have opened their hearts to us - some offered business advice, some even offered their employees to come over and work the store if I needed." She's learned to think outside of the box when it comes to Home Xpressions. "We've gone through a transition from the style being 100 percent rustic to other types of things. It's not cookie cutter and we really have all price points to give people choices and selections," Laurie said. "We've really spent a lot of time researching product lines and I think people will be pleasantly surprised."
Home Xpressions is just south of the bridge in Minocqua on Hwy. 51, across from Settler's Mill. The Herzogs will forever miss Brian, but he worked very hard to build the foundation that is now their life. "This was his dream - he loved the schools here and the small town life. We couldn't be in a better place," Laurie said.
by Julie Wroblewski - Writer/Photographer/Production - The Lakeland Times
